Is this for you or for Me?

God constantly challenges me in the arena of motive.  The perennial question is pretty simple. "Is this for you or is this for Me?" For all its regularity, I'm usually surprised when it pops up on my mental screen. It happens in the middle of charting my day or as I take notes during a staff meeting.  I hear the question as I sit in a quiet sanctuary and as I stand in the midst of 8,000 praising voices. I've learned, through a whole lot of trial and error, that if I answer truthfully my heart gets changed.

And usually I'm called to a specific action.  Case in point: I'm sitting in my church and the speaker is sharing his faith story.  I'm feeling encouraged, joy for his experience with God and wishful that I could get up there and share my faith story. Why? Because I haven't shared it in a while and I really like the feeling I get when I tell people how God "woke me up" to knowing Jesus.  "Is this for you or is this for Me?"

If you're thinking the questioning was done at that point, you'd be wrong.  We've only just begun. In less than two months time I moved from wishful thinking to asking God to give me one opportunity a week to share the Gospel to joining a disciple-making training class to sitting in said class last night listening to fellow students discuss their own hesitations in following Jesus' "Go" into their worlds speaking the Gospel. 

And I heard the question again. "Is this for you or is this for Me?  Because if this is for Me, you need to do this with a motive of My love."  Love for everything Gospel*, love of Who God is, love watching for God's grace in others' lives, loving the way God brings me alongside Him in His works, love how God gets more glory when I obey Him in making disciples.

"Love people the way I do."  I felt the self-focused burdens of "ought to" and "grow the church" and "be the leader" slipping off of my shoulders.  I actually sat up straighter in my chair.  This morning I have a clearer vision of witnessing.  It looks like enjoying people and enjoying the Gospel simultaneously.  This is a motive-course-correction shift for me and I've got fresh wind in my sails. 

Here's a verse I'm meditating on to help make these new thoughts stick:  2 Peter 3:9  The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. 

So what about you?  Look at your calendar, your to-do list, your latest "project".  Ask the question.  "Is it for me or for God?"  There's no shame in answering, "For me."   Conviction is a blessing. It's God telling you, "I've got a better way."   Ditch your own way and join Him instead.

*My pastor has a great definition of the Gospel:  All that God has accomplished for us through Christ and all that I now am through Him.