Flipping Rejection

Rejection. 

You yucky thing you. 

Can anyone escape your clammy wrenching touch? From the first-day-of-school-walk-through-the-lunchroom-no-place-to-sit blues to the vulnerable heart tossed aside by the object of its affection, rejection rocks us to our roots.  We cringe. We cry. We internalize.  We make silly statements like "Never again!" As if we had any power over the way others treat us.

Or the way we treat them.

What? Wait, I take that back.  Our response. Why yes, we do have power over that. And we have power over others in the way that we respond to them when they've broken our sweet trusting heart all to pieces lying on the floor like Wednesday's trash.  Oh. Wait. Again. Not necessarily.  Although my actions can belay that I feel that way.  "I'm hurting them back." "I'm giving them a piece of my mind." (Hurts less then giving them another piece of my heart.) "I'm taking my toys and going home."

So if I can't escape rejection (live in a cave?) and can't sustain avoiding rejection (develop a subscription-based approach to friends and family?), should I embrace rejection?

Can I think about that for just a second...

In my mental list of the more painful rejections I've encountered in life, it's the unresolved experiences that I've not completely dealt with which are the source of my feelings of self-protection, bitterness, distrust "and every evil thing." (James 3) Jesus, the Rejected One, is my model for embracing pain of every kind to the tune of unconditional love.  When I think of the beauty of His love for the real people who really spit on Him, really mocked Him, really betrayed His friendship, really took His sacrifice for granted, really hurt Him in response to His kindness - - I get really quiet.  My words               .  And I take in His beauty and learn. 

After sitting in awe of the all-consuming love-without-condition of Jesus Christ, I can't help but run to Him with my own pierced heart.  Life gets tough.  Sin takes a toll on the sinner and those around him.  (And I've sat in both seats...)  Jesus has felt the pain I feel and yet responded to it in the best way possible.  He reminds me of His response to my rejection of Him.  He strengthens me with His acceptance of all I am and my process of becoming all that He has made me to be.

It's only from this bedrock of His no-matter-what acceptance of me that I can face the rejection so prevalent in human society.  Whether it's the person who won't sit next to me on the bus or the person who won't sit next to me at church, I can choose to embrace rejection and hand it off squarely to Jesus.  My genuine smile returned for the frown is His love flowing through a heart unobstructed by the walls of self protection.  It's so freeing.  It's so I'm-partnering-with-Jesus as He loves through me. 

I pray for wisdom as I encounter rejection in everyday life.  I don't go looking for it but I want to welcome with grace the person who brings it my way.  I have decided to embrace the process of learning to respond to rejection the way Jesus does.  It takes practice.  And there's ample opportunity for that. 

Isn't it crazy?  God takes rejection - something so antithetical to all that He is - and uses our experience with it to make us more like Him.  That's what I call "the flip side of rejection." 

A note not for the faint of heart

"Can you hear me now?  Hello, this is the Holy Spirit talking.  Is anyone home?"

Yes, I'm claiming that "rejection protection" in its many forms builds a wall between a child of God and the Spirit within.  Because to shut out any part of the world we shut out the fact that Jesus dealt with it all.  Our Rejected Savior embraced the stinging pain of rejection, loved face and soul of those inflicting it, impaled Himself upon the cross of paying for it, and died, and came back to life, and gave His own the Holy Spirit to claim victory over it.  That, and of course so much more. 

Don't run from your pain.  Own it.  Embrace the process God is working in you through it.  Run to Him with it.  Give it to Him and for goodness sake don't take it back.  Then walk daily in His victory over rejection and pain and sin.  Enjoy the freedom He has for you.  Celebrate His acceptance of you and of others. And when someone hits the tennis ball of rejection into your court again, lob back some honest love. 

Is that me?

Man. I stink.

I said that out loud to myself the other day during my workout. If others had been nearby I'm sure I would have heard, "Why yes, you do stink."  I would have totally understood. I kept working on the elliptical while my thoughts continued on with the theme.  Specifically, I started to think about stinky attitudes.

Some people call them sin. Depending on the level of conviction one is currently experiencing, they could also be called "effective means of getting the job done," "deserved responses to others of less worth," "necessary evils," or, my favorite, "a personal weakness that I'm working on."  I say this from experience.  Truth can be so...inconvenient.

And ill timed.  I have a friend who is in the midst of a deep trial.  They are struggling with some hard circumstances.  There's no escape - they have to walk through the fire.  Yet it's during this moment in time that God has apparently tapped them on the shoulder and said, "There's a stinky attitude in your heart. You need to change it.  Now would be a good time."

Really God? Isn't all of their energy and focus already taken captive by this trial?

But I can actually relate.  In fact, when I look at the moments of hardest conviction in my heart- the clearest calls to die to self - they've taken place during deep valleys of trial.  The inconvenient truth is, it's taken the trial to unstop my ears, to unveil my eyes, to soften my hard heart that doesn't particularly think it has a problem. From God's perspective, it's actually my point of greatest convenience to big time change.

When God is with me in the middle of a humbling trial, even if the trial is not a result of my actions, He makes the most of my desperation.  It's a window of opportunity to wean me completely from the level at which I've been living.  Burn it up. Toast crumbs. Sweep it away. And then bring beauty for ashes.

Am I generally willing to turn from my sin when conviction calls? Yes. Am I generally able to pull out the roots of sin during an average day? Not usually. Turn from sin, embrace love, go on my way. Repeat. Rewind. Repeat.  It's in the burning of trial that my sin roots are exposed in my raw heart.  Pain can be relative. Repentance in those moments can actually be easier - especially for those given to self reliance and independence.  When you are already at the end of yourself, to actually go ahead and die to self is a much shorter step.

Jesus tells us, "My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Our sin makes our life and the life of those around us harder.  But Jesus' way of life is easy: comfortable and pleasant.  We fight submission and obedience- tooth and nail at times.  But giving up sin can be easy. Why? Because the cross makes it so. His death for you on the cross took away your bondage to sin.  You don't have to stink. Give Him your full attention and your complete heart. Don't wait for the trial.

In our collective gym of life, we all stink from time to time. What do you do with a stinky friend? What do your friends do with stinky you? What do your enemies do with stinky you?  Think about it and let me know! 

If you are in the midst of a stink fest, read your Bible.  Psalms, Proverbs, James and Galatians are great books to start in on.  Here are some other verses to get you going.

Romans 6:6 We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. NLT

Galatians 4:6  Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir. NIV

Acts 5:31 God exalted him at his right hand as Leader and Savior, to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins. ESV

Romans 2:4 Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? ESV

2 Cor 7:10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. ESV

 2 Peter 3:14-15 Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace.  And count the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you according to the wisdom given him, ESV

Living Above the Zombie Fray

I recently happened upon an article in the New York Times that tackled the rising zombie phenomenon.  It was published in 2010, but I think the premise is still current.  The author writes

"This is our collective fear projection: that we will be consumed. Zombies are like the Internet and the media and every conversation we don’t want to have. All of it comes at us endlessly (and thoughtlessly), and — if we surrender — we will be overtaken and absorbed. Yet this war is manageable, if not necessarily winnable. As long we keep deleting whatever’s directly in front of us, we survive. We live to eliminate the zombies of tomorrow. We are able to remain human, at least for the time being. Our enemy is relentless and colossal, but also uncreative and stupid."

You can read the article here:http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/05/arts/television/05zombies.html and by all means do. I found it entertaining with a thought-provoking twist. Keeping zombie fighting in the back of your mind...

Switch.

Last week a group of lovely ladies gathered to begin a study of the book of Daniel.  We're using Beth Moore's 2009 kit, Daniel: Lives of Integrity, Words of Prophecy. I am just plain giddy about the study and also about the gals who are investing in this group.  They are going deep and asking God to deal with their hearts.  Can you say "pure energy"?  :}. Emphasis on the "pure" because these women are gold.

Merging a couple lessons as of late, I'm camping out on this challenge for a while:

We stand with resolve to not be moved by culture so that we can walk against the current to "Go and make disciples."  Which brings to mind a rather pointed question:  What kind of disciple doesn't make disciples?  All sorts of adjectives come to mind.  Beloved, called, equipped-for-every-good-work, shielded, forgiven, beneficiary, co-heir, set apart, redeemed, renewed, co-laborer...

Jesus has freed us from the tyranny of merely fighting zombies.  How has He lifted your gaze lately? What adjectives would you use to describe a Christ-follower?

Is this for you or for Me?

God constantly challenges me in the arena of motive.  The perennial question is pretty simple. "Is this for you or is this for Me?" For all its regularity, I'm usually surprised when it pops up on my mental screen. It happens in the middle of charting my day or as I take notes during a staff meeting.  I hear the question as I sit in a quiet sanctuary and as I stand in the midst of 8,000 praising voices. I've learned, through a whole lot of trial and error, that if I answer truthfully my heart gets changed.

And usually I'm called to a specific action.  Case in point: I'm sitting in my church and the speaker is sharing his faith story.  I'm feeling encouraged, joy for his experience with God and wishful that I could get up there and share my faith story. Why? Because I haven't shared it in a while and I really like the feeling I get when I tell people how God "woke me up" to knowing Jesus.  "Is this for you or is this for Me?"

If you're thinking the questioning was done at that point, you'd be wrong.  We've only just begun. In less than two months time I moved from wishful thinking to asking God to give me one opportunity a week to share the Gospel to joining a disciple-making training class to sitting in said class last night listening to fellow students discuss their own hesitations in following Jesus' "Go" into their worlds speaking the Gospel. 

And I heard the question again. "Is this for you or is this for Me?  Because if this is for Me, you need to do this with a motive of My love."  Love for everything Gospel*, love of Who God is, love watching for God's grace in others' lives, loving the way God brings me alongside Him in His works, love how God gets more glory when I obey Him in making disciples.

"Love people the way I do."  I felt the self-focused burdens of "ought to" and "grow the church" and "be the leader" slipping off of my shoulders.  I actually sat up straighter in my chair.  This morning I have a clearer vision of witnessing.  It looks like enjoying people and enjoying the Gospel simultaneously.  This is a motive-course-correction shift for me and I've got fresh wind in my sails. 

Here's a verse I'm meditating on to help make these new thoughts stick:  2 Peter 3:9  The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. 

So what about you?  Look at your calendar, your to-do list, your latest "project".  Ask the question.  "Is it for me or for God?"  There's no shame in answering, "For me."   Conviction is a blessing. It's God telling you, "I've got a better way."   Ditch your own way and join Him instead.

*My pastor has a great definition of the Gospel:  All that God has accomplished for us through Christ and all that I now am through Him.

Under construction

setting up blog background